We Don't Speak January
New Year's resolutions and Equinox's viral campaign
January is a language we don’t understand. It talks about change. It thinks time is on its side. It needs a new outfit before it can begin. (Equinox, January 2023)
On the first of the year, Equinox, the land of $300/month memberships and eucalyptus-scented handjobs, launched a controversial campaign. Scattered around the city and online, the message was simple: “We don’t speak January.” For the entire day, the luxury gym refused to accept new members, reinforcing its belief in commitment rather than resolutions.
To some, the statement was a slight on fairweather gymgoers; to others, an attack on the New Year’s resolution itself. In reality, it falls right in step with the luxury gym’s motto—It’s not fitness, it’s life.
Tonight, two floors underground at Crunch Fitness Tribeca, my yoga teacher seems to have taken the bait. As the Top 40 music from her previous class fades, she directs us to our mats, where we’re meant to sit down and control our breath. The lights dim and the music changes, this time to Imogen Heap.
“I know many of you are here because it’s January,” she begins, locking eyes with the class’s only heavy girl. “But ‘New Year, new me’ doesn’t exist. Show up for yourself every day.”
Later in class, while laying in savasana, I think more about what she’s saying, about the ritual of setting New Year’s resolutions and why I’ve never felt inclined to partake.
The ancient Babylonians are said to be the first to set New Year’s resolutions, though they were more concerned with pleasing the gods and making neighborly amends than saving money or losing weight. They observed the New Year during Akitu, a 10-day religious festival celebrating the sowing of barley and the beginning of Spring.
I send the Equinox campaign to my aunt, who used to be a member of one of the Chicago locations. Similar to my mother, she isn’t one to make resolutions, preferring to reflect on life and set goals throughout the year. This falls more in line with the Babylonian approach, of syncing one’s regenerative efforts with nature rather than fighting against it.
In retrospect, the charade of resolution-setting does feel very detached from reality, a denial of the micro deaths and rebirths that we’re meant to experience on a regular basis. It’s also a fairly passive form of commitment, involving little more than imagining a more favorable future and stepping aside.
Perhaps my issue with the New Year’s resolution is in fact an issue with the holiday itself, which serves as a simulated beginning in what’s actually an endless stretch of time. None of it really matters, anyway.
